


Fallen Fridges do not make good igloos

by Themaagoo



Category: Sanders Sides (Web Series)
Genre: Dadceit, Ficlet, Gen, Janus centric, One Shot, dad!deceit, dad!janus, everyone is okay, he needs a nap, patton does hide in a fridge, the others are all kids
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-14
Updated: 2020-08-14
Packaged: 2021-03-06 00:28:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 978
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25894435
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Themaagoo/pseuds/Themaagoo
Summary: Janus deserves a nice bath. A nice, hot bath with fancy bubble soap, and an even fancier bottle of bubbles to drink. Do a facemask and a deep cleanse of his pores all around. Listen to his calming music playlist, and if he’s feeling up to it he’ll be able to do some light reading. He’ll lock the door and not have to see another human being for at least three hours.He repeats this to himself like a mantra, with deep breaths and imagines the sensation of hot water enveloping his skin. Then he steels himself and opens his eyes again.“Remus, get Roman out of the washing machine.”aka: Janus is a tired dad and just wants a moment of reprieve where his kids aren't destroying his house
Comments: 3
Kudos: 69





	Fallen Fridges do not make good igloos

Janus deserves a nice bath. A nice, hot bath with fancy bubble soap, and an even fancier bottle of bubbles to drink. Do a facemask and a deep cleanse of his pores all around. Listen to his calming music playlist, and if he’s feeling up to it he’ll be able to do some light reading. He’ll lock the door and not have to see another human being for at least three hours.

He repeats this to himself like a mantra, with deep breaths and imagines the sensation of hot water enveloping his skin. Then he steels himself and opens his eyes again.

“Remus, get Roman out of the washing machine.”

“But, _Dad-_ ” Janus ignores his protests

“Logan, what are you doing, you totally _weren’t_ supposed to be looking after Patton.” The small boy, almost eight, and _definitely_ smart enough to know better; points at the fallen fridge.

“He wanted to see if it would be like an igloo!” he supplies happily. “I’m making notes, but he hasn’t given me anything to dictate recently.” Janus curses, feeling panic slip in.

“Virgil, help me to lift the fridge,” he commands, moving fast. The boy who had been standing guiltily to the side springs into action and the two of them lift the fridge with relative ease. People are always surprised by Virgil’s strength, most of them take one look at his gangly frame and assume he’s weak, but Janus prides himself on knowing as much about his boys as possible. Sometimes that comes in handy, like Virgil’s tremendous strength. (With his height, he would make an excellent basketball player if he were so inclined. He isn’t.)

As the fridge is righted, the lack of noise from beneath causes panic to swell in his chest, but Patton simply looks up at them in surprise, pulling headphones down to speak to them.

“Hi Dad, I’m playing igloos!” he smiles up with too much enthusiasm for someone who has ice dusting their hair.

“Patton,” Janus sighs in relief. “You need a hot cocoa and a warm blanket, out, _now._ ” Patton looks up with devastation evident.

“No thank you,” he shakes his head and attempts to climb into the now righted fridge. Janus grabs his hand hastily before he can get there.

_Two bottles of wine and a massage._

“ _Patton_.” Janus firmly turns the boy to face him, schooling his own expression to be strict and no-nonsense. “Front-room, now. Get a blanket and don’t move until I get back.”

Patton slumps, pouting. “Okay,” he sighs, trudging off to the sofa as though sitting still were a truly terrible fate.

“Logan, go with him,” he instructs, and thankfully at least one of his kids isn’t putting up a fuss. He takes his notebook with him as he follows Patton dutifully. He’s probably going to make notes about the after-effects of his and Patton’s experiment. If he’s being honest, which he rarely is, he doesn’t care so much about how they sit still, just so long as he can get a moment of reprieve where none of them are actively inflicting harm on themselves. “Virgil, put on the kettle.”

He turns on the two twins next, who have been suspiciously quiet over by the laundry machine.

“And I’m _sure_ that you two have a _terrific_ explanation for what was happening here?”

“We wanted to ride the washing machine like a giant hamster with a tiny wheel!” roman shouts, obviously still hoping for the chance to follow through. Janus turns to Remus, who tends to have a better sense of the reality of how their shenanigans will end.

“What did you think would happen?”

“His head might split open!” Remus supplies excitedly. “Then we can dye our clothes in his blood for a brilliant shade of red!”

“I like red!” Roman adds helpfully.

Janus pinches his forehead with a deep sigh. _Bubbles and steam. Just a few more hours until the kids are in bed and fast asleep._

“The blood would dry onto the machine and simply come off in flakes as the machine is used. Or it would be washed into the drain without hanging around,” he replies bluntly, and Remus listens with wide eyes, nodding along eagerly. “Remus, Roman. Go to your room, you have had enough playtime for the day.”

The two of them both give out simultaneous choruses of disappointment, but Janus simply holds up a finger and gives them a withering look, before pointing them to their rooms.

Roman hangs his head, and Remus makes a rude noise, but they both go without further objection. Virgil emerges from the kitchen, hiding in his hoody with both hands stuffed into his pockets. “The kettle’s boiled.” Janus nods, pulling himself together. He can do this. they all have school on Monday, and for a few glorious hours, they’ll be the educational system’s problem. He can do this.

As he prepares Patton’s drink he speaks with Virgil.

“What have I said about sitting on the furniture?” he asks with a sigh.

“That this is why we can’t have nice things,” he jokes. Janus gives him a withering stare. “Not to do it,” Virgil concedes. “I’m sorry about the fridge.”

“Well, I’m _sure_ you’ll learn your lesson this time,” he rolls his eyes. Virgil winces, probably remembering the nice wardrobe he used to own. “The good news is you can make it up to me.”

Virgil looks up, hopeful. He doesn’t like punishments, but he _hates_ not knowing if people are upset with him or not. he’ll feel better if there’s something he can do to apologise.

“The twins need babysitting for a few hours on Tuesday, Logan has a dentist appointment after school.” Virgil’s face immediately drops in abject horror.

“Oh god no,” he whispers. Janus just smiles.

“Come on Virge, you’re older than both of them put together. I’m sure you’ll have _no_ trouble.”

**Author's Note:**

> hope yall enjoyed it! these are just some quick one-shots I'm doing so feel free to hop on over to my Tumblr @itsfrenchfornothankyou to send in some requests, or if you wanna go off-book you could drop some in the comments  
> if you enjoyed the fic please consider leaving a comment! I love to hear from you guys, even if it just goes something like jdnfbeunfo[nwq you know?


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